Prompt 3: Stigma

17 Aug

Your blood work came back on Wednesday- Your thyroid levels are out of control- I see you’ve gained twenty pounds this last few days. What’s going on?” says Dr. Griffith inquisitively.

Well I’ve been eating right and exercising- Well I’ve been eating 200 calories a day, that’s the only way I can really control my weight,” I answer back truthfully.

Well you must have been eating something…” he responds in a scolding manner, as if I was an ignorant child.

Such is the life of a large person. Each person that is large gets large somehow, whether it be overeating, malnourishment, being sedentary, or even metabolic disorders, if you like me have hypothyroidism then you know exactly where I am coming from. All the Dr. Griffiths giving you holy hell [input] telling you about how you don’t exercise enough when you put in over 60 minutes each day- Or oh, let’s not forget your 200 calorie daily ‘allotment’ for food is ‘too much.’

Fat girls are jealous,” says someone as they sneer at you, this someone not even knowing what it feels like to starve or overexert yourself without results- Let alone skip a meal.

You need to stop sitting down all day,” says a guy who drinks a twelve pack a day and doesn’t know a bicep from his butt crack.

Now, I can only speak from my own “fat” female perspective. I think it’s terrible that as women, we not only have to meet the societal standards of being pretty, but we also have to be skinny, no matter what the costs. Our culture teaches us to do everything in our power to make it seem like there truly is a superiority rule in terms of fatness. Some social stigmas are simple caused be insecure, self-loathing individuals. People get mad when they see some who isn’t considered beautiful by most standards, walk with her head tall and confident because she knows she’s beautiful both inside and OUT.

In conclusion, next time a skeletal rat-faced pug-nosed bitch tries to tell you about how you’re a fatty just smile and say, “ Thank you, I’m glad to have gotten your attention.” And of course, DO NOT forget to flip your head to the side and giggle. Misery loves company.

XOXOXO Kyanna ♥

P.S: As I found myself skimming my literary journal and thinking about this topic scouring, and picking it apart I created this poem. This is for- me.

Beauty is Beautiful”

See not with thine eyes

but with thy spirit.

Dash away lust from your brain-

Bear witness to me,

brown skinned,

luscious woman.

Feel my words when I speak.

Know my intelligence.

Keep your chivalry with me.

Feel my beauty.

Embrace it.

Know me as I am.


3 Responses to “Prompt 3: Stigma”

  1. mindlovemisery at 12:24 PM #

    That poem is absolutely gorgeous! I had to that first, I mean I really really love it! Thyroid problems run in my family both sides! I didn’t escape them I know exactly what is like to struggle and struggle without result. I went to school for Nutrition, at one point I was working out 4 hours a day just so I could maintain healthy. I was a heavy child but some the meanest comments came from my own family who were also overweight or obese. Finally though I got myself under control. Seaweed is excellent for the thyroid. Miso it helps me with appetite control. I stopped counting calories, restricting will only back fire. Instead I follow a long GF diet, keeping my sugar intake down (including sugar free with the fake sweeteners), eating natural foods (absolutely no diet foods) and eating every 3 to 4 hours to prevent my sugar levels from becoming unstable has helped. I also don’t drink sugary things sometimes smoothies with added fiber and some protein but juices and such can cause sugar rushes. I do a variety of exercises strength, balance, cardio flexibility I have lots of different routines because I plateau fast. I noticed that the first 3 weeks I never lose weight it takes a long time for my metabolism to get started, after my daughter was born I went a full year exactly the same weight not even a normal variation really right down to the ounce how that is humanly possible I don’t even know lol But since I started eating low glycemic foods and keeping my blood levels in check I actually lost weight at a good rate for me, any rate is good for me but still it was markedly faster. I even got skinny! I put back some pounds now though because I do appreciate the curves. Weight is definitely a stigma in all directions. Even when I am a healthy weight (like now) people call me chubby or skinny sometimes in the same day! I just don’t even care anymore as long as I feel good.

  2. KyannaKitt at 7:18 PM #

    Absolutely. I went vegetarian almost a year ago. All of my food allergies definitely don’t help- And I must admit to having a bit of a cheese addiction. Especially during menstruation. I love cardio and strength training equally. But I like you get used to doing exercises extremely fast. So i find myself having to switch it up very frequently! Thank you so much for the feedback dear!~

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