Tag Archives: reality

Negative Feedback

19 Mar

By: Kyanna Kitt

We’ve all worked our asses off only to have the fruit of our labor thrown carelessly into the wind as if it didn’t mean a thing- we all unfortunately have been exposed to ‘harsh reality’ by way of negative feedback, but how exactly should we deal with it?

Mathematics has never been my strong point so going into my college years I knew that it would end up being another hurdle I’d have to find a way to hoist my stumpy (I am not kidding) little legs across. I sucked it up- fighting back the tears of my high school horror story. The bright colorful paper dressing the walls, big bubbly letters spelling out my greatest fear- the smell of freshly cut construction paper, wooden pencils and textbooks taking full ownership of the very air I inhaled violating my safety bubble and self-esteem. My teacher a tiny little southern woman smiling what seemed like a warm smile anticipating her torcher- dimple faced and all. She was standing menacingly behind thick trifocal glasses with a short gray buzz cut holding a stack of classwork packets. This would end up being war. Every word that came out of her mouth was foreign, I would scribble scratch and calculate for hours on end and no matter how much I tried I’d always get the wrong answer despite her ‘help’ my mind just wouldn’t click.

Ms.Kitt are you even trying to get the right answer? …. What do we know about blah blah blah…use the yada-yada property- My math teachers were never really understanding of my case and because of this fact I began to feel bad about myself. This poured over into other parts of my life. I began doing badly in other subjects, withdrawing from group activities and later skipping class all together. It seemed as if my situation was helpless. I didn’t know how to deal with her negative feedback; I didn’t know how to defend myself and more importantly I didn’t know how to be confident in myself. I would never believe someone if they told me about the person I’d be today. Here I am in my freshman year of college, the fifth term to be exact with a 100% A+ score in mathematics and a pretty decent 3.5 GPA. What could have happened between high school (2004-2008) and college (2013-present)? Not a heck of a lot of studying, I’ll tell you that.

You see, what happened was a change in character. As I grew older I grew more confident and self assured. I no longer search for validation in my teachers or felt bad for asking questions and not understanding. College helped me through that barricade that was stopping me from being the bright minded girl that I am. One of the first things I learned when I decided to continue my education is that nobody is smarter than anyone else. That includes your professors, you’re mentors, your idols- There is nobody out there that is better than you and your situation nor are you better than anyone else. Sound like a cliché crock of shit but guys swallow it down. Live it. Be that phrase. You are only as big as the person that you are and portray yourself to be. If you want to be strong be it. If you want to sing do it. If you want to be great be you and don’t let anyone deter you from achieving your goals.

I hope that you took something from this simple post and all that I ask it that somewhere this speaks to someone and that someone is reading this who is perhaps not in the best place emotionally and this sheds light onto them and gives them the strength to make positive changes towards a happy healthy life. Have you ever received negative feedback that impacted you in a big way? Leave your stories below.

The Wake Of The Raven

27 Aug
Image

Depression by Vesuvia on http://www.deviantart.com

I can not live in the shadows of statues built of the men that have come before me

I cannot uplift what is pinned at every corner with nail, hammer, and bow

I can not un-glamour the eyes of those lost to false vision of materials of beauty

I can not out weigh the measures of every excessively heavy man nor is it my duty

I shall not dive to the depths of Tartarus to save the soul of commons

I do not wish to be forgiven for thoughts I’ve bared forgotten

For I to breathe in itself is a dainty task

Ne’er do I deserve it, nor did I ask

A wretch in jewels endowed with rich garment praised in sanction

A poor womans cry unpitied but astonishingly always forsaken

In this the wake in that our seed grows

In glass full emptied ne’er chances they never will know

Smite thy children, burn thy frail bone

Halt in wake of the raven where nothing feels and no one knows

©copyright Kyanna Kitt

24 Shades of Me

18 Aug

Empty.

Lonely.

Open door…

Solemn.

Blue.

Filthy whore…

Easy.

Entrance.

Purely a mess…

Physical.

Somatic.

Picturesque…

Intelligent.

Creator.

Well endowed…

Woman.

Debater.

Wishful vowels…

Aching.

Shattered.

Objective pleasure…

Lover.

Friendship.

Probably never…

©copyright Kyanna Kitt

Bliss

18 Aug

I wish I could smile among birds of prey

I wish darkness never did meet light of day

I pray the fish will save me from a sea of monsters

I pray & wish to never owe debt to demon or monster

I dare believe in protection from he of the sky

I dare seek strength and courage for on the day I die,

I’ll walk amongst those faceless souls I never did meet

I’ll finally take part in the sea of evergreen

©copyright Kyanna Kitt

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